DISCLAIMER : I guess you could say I’ve been going through some personal stuff. These letters are simply my way of releasing my angst out into the universe. If you have any insight or wisdom you think might help me work things out, keep it. I’m not looking..
I don’t know what just happened but I know that it isn’t happening again. I’m so tired of being accused when I’ve done nothing wrong. If I’m breathing out I should have been breathing in or some shit and I can’t find it in me to just sit here anymore.
I am tired. Too tired to keep up this bullshit charade any longer, it’s weighing me down.. Living here in this nightmare that once was a dream has been more than I thought it could be; I would never have lived so much life without you, and it makes me so sick and so sad to know it’s gonna end…
There are so many things I could never have done if I hadn’t been there with you then. I was lost til you found me, and I thank God you did; you were all of the happiness I’ve ever had and I’m grateful.
Thank you so much for trying, I’m sorry I’m not gonna make it as far as you thought – I know how disappointed you are.. I’d do better if I had it in me but I guess it just is what it is.
I’m sorry I’m not enough for you baby. I’m so sorry that I can’t be more.
Please take of our daughter, she’s earned it from you.. She’s not going to get it, what’s happening next, and she’ll need you..
Please make sure she knows who I am.
And Makayla, God please don’t just ditch her, though I know her reaction will suck. She’ll be so fucking angry but she doesn’t know what she needs… She needs a shoulder to cry on, a heart she can’t break. She needs someone to tell her she’s beautiful. She needs a supporter, and she needs a boot in her ass. Miss Autumn is gonna be perfectly fine. She’s got everything she’ll ever need. Just as long as they all know they’ve made it all worth it, I’m happy and then I can go..