Unsent Letters – 08.31.2017

DISCLAIMER : I am going through some personal things and am needing a place to vent. These are the letters I’ve written along the way. If you have any advice about things, please feel free to keep scrolling because I’m not looking..

My Love,

Sometimes I wish I could read your mind. Sometimes I’m glad that I can’t. I’m not sure I’d survive what I would hear in there while you’re wearing that look on your face.. That look breaks my heart on it’s own and I wish I could change that.. I realized today, like a bolt of lightning, that you’ve been thinking I’m having an affair for like a year now – maybe longer. I’m so utterly astounded by that.. I mean, I’m honestly blown away. How can you stand there and look at me every day while you so obviously think I’m a whore? And not freaking say anything?! 

Christ.. Why would you do that?

The only answer I can think of is Gracie. Maybe you don’t want to leave her? or maybe you don’t want to pay child support? I don’t know, but I sure wish I did.

I’ve been yours since the first time I saw you. If you don’t know that after ten years with me, then I must be the worst wife on the planet for you not to know.. I’m so sorry.. If you only knew how completely wrong you’ve been  about things, but i don’t guess we can change all that now. I don’t understand why I’m here while you so obviously have no faith or trust in our marriage anymore and I can’t imagine you’ll be confiding in me about it anytime soon..

I miss your love. And the smile you kept just for me all of these years….

I couldn’t be any more shattered if the world stopped turning altogether…

I need you…..


– A


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