DISCLAIMER : I am going through some personal things and am needing a place to vent. These are the letters I’ve written along the way. If you have any advice about things, please feel free to keep scrolling because I’m not looking..
Sometimes I wish I could read your mind. Sometimes I’m glad that I can’t. I’m not sure I’d survive what I would hear in there while you’re wearing that look on your face.. That look breaks my heart on it’s own and I wish I could change that.. I realized today, like a bolt of lightning, that you’ve been thinking I’m having an affair for like a year now – maybe longer. I’m so utterly astounded by that.. I mean, I’m honestly blown away. How can you stand there and look at me every day while you so obviously think I’m a whore? And not freaking say anything?!
Christ.. Why would you do that?
The only answer I can think of is Gracie. Maybe you don’t want to leave her? or maybe you don’t want to pay child support? I don’t know, but I sure wish I did.
I’ve been yours since the first time I saw you. If you don’t know that after ten years with me, then I must be the worst wife on the planet for you not to know.. I’m so sorry.. If you only knew how completely wrong you’ve been about things, but i don’t guess we can change all that now. I don’t understand why I’m here while you so obviously have no faith or trust in our marriage anymore and I can’t imagine you’ll be confiding in me about it anytime soon..
I miss your love. And the smile you kept just for me all of these years….
I couldn’t be any more shattered if the world stopped turning altogether…
I need you…..